I Don't Want to be Afraid
by SunshineGirl2500
Summary: Young Germany's big brother is going to war tomorrow. The young country has a nightmare about losing Prussia to the war and it's up to the 'The Most Awesome Big Bro' to teach him how not to be afraid. Human names used. Fluffy sibling story.


The young German Confederation tossed and turned in his bed. He was having trouble sleeping. There were so many things on his mind that kept him from sweet sleep and the rain outside wasn't helping. Germany, or Ludwig as he preferred, feared thunder and lightning above most things. It was so loud and is sounded like bombs exploding right by his house. However, it wasn't the bright light and the noise alone that scared him; it was what the sounds reminded him of that scared him. The sound of bombs rung through his ears every time the thunder roared, reminding him of the battlefield his brother was about to go on the next day. Ludwig's older brother Gilbert, better known as Prussia, was going off to war tomorrow and Ludwig was so scared that he'd never see his brother again. Every time Gilbert went to war he came back battered and bruised, sometimes within an inch of his life. Ludwig didn't want his brother leave him. Ludwig didn't like seeing his older brother in such condition. How could Gilbert just go out and fight without being scared? Ludwig pulled the covers around his shaking body. He didn't want his brother to leave him again. Ludwig closed his crystal blue eyes and tried to let himself forget his fears. His brother was going and he could do nothing about it so he might as well accept it. Ludwig slowly allowed himself to fall asleep and the sound of horns and sobs filled the air,

_The sky was cloudy and grey. The trees looked dead and dry. Ludwig found himself in the midst of a crowd of people. They all had tears in their eyes and the horns played the saddest song, Ludwig had ever heard. Ludwig looked around and not a single eye was dry. Carefully Ludwig tugged on a man's shirt,_

_ "Excuse me sir, but why is everyone crying? What has happened?" Ludwig asked. The man wiped his eyes and knelt to the boy. _

_ "Oh, dear boy, you haven't heard? Prussia has fallen." The man said sadly. The world came crashing down all at once for Ludwig. It wasn't true. No, his brother wasn't dead. Prussia is not dead._

_ "Nein, that cannot be true! Gilbert is not dead! My brother is not dead, he's coming home to me like always! My big brother is alive!" Ludwig protested angrily. Tears threatened to fall from his eyes. He would not accept this. He was Germany. He was a country and he shouldn't cry. He was a strong country and so was his brother. He would never believe anyone who told him that Gilbert was dead. _

_Ludwig pushed through the people. He knew that he would see Gilbert alive when he made it out. Gilbert was alive, he just had to be. He couldn't die, it just wasn't possible. Ludwig reached the end of the crowd to see a casket. Ludwig's heart pounded in his chest. He ran to the side of the brown case. Ludwig turned back and the people who had previously been there had disappeared. The music had stopped. Ludwig rushed to the casket. It wasn't Gilbert. He knew it wasn't. This had to be a cruel joke; a horrible, cruel joke that they would laugh about in a few years. Gilbert is not dead. He kept repeating that phrase in his head. Ludwig opened the wooden case and suddenly he felt his little heart stop and shatter into pieces. Lying right before his eyes was his older brother. His body had not even been at peace. The lifeless body of the former country was bloodied, bruised and his red eyes were open and glazed over by death. Blood still leaked from all of Gilbert's wounds into the white fabric of the casket. Ludwig never knew a heart could suffer so much pain. Ludwig took his brother's hand in his and squeezed it tightly. "Wake up bruder…wake up…wake up.…wake up!" Ludwig's broken voice ripped through the still air, "Please…don't leave me." Ludwig begged as tears fell faster than rain._

Ludwig shot up from his bed screaming. His heart thrashed in his chest and his hands were clutching his covers so tightly that his knuckles were white. Ludwig's breathing was panicked and frantic. Tears still fell from his beautiful blue eyes. Ludwig wrapped his arms around himself trying to stop his trembling. It had only been a dream. It seemed so real. Ludwig didn't try to fight his tears. He was too scared. Ludwig knew it was dream, but he couldn't shake the feeling he had, that feeling of utter terror, the feeling of no longer having a brother. Ludwig got up from his bed and left his room. Ludwig nearly ran down the hall. He had to see Gilbert. He needed to see him alive. Ludwig arrived at Gilbert's door and swung it open carefully. Ludwig's tiny frame made its way to Gilbert's bedside. Ludwig approached Gilbert's sleeping, snoring form. The younger German boy tapped his older brother. The recently slumbering Prussian stirred in his sleep. Gilbert opened his red eyes and stretched. His white hair was rugged and messy,

"Huh, what the- West, why are you in my room?" Gilbert asked confused. He wasn't too keen about being woken up before the sun was even out.

"I…I…" Ludwig stuttered. He had trouble forming words through his tears. Upon hearing Ludwig's hiccups and sniffs, Gilbert sat up immediately,

"Hey, West, are you alright? You sound funny." Gilbert asked starting to worry a little bit.

"I…It's nothing, I'm sorry, bruder." Ludwig said as he turned to leave. He saw his brother alive and that should be proof enough. Ludwig felt a hand on his shoulder holding him back,

"Hold up, West, you're acting weird. You don't usually come in just to leave. Tell your awesome big brother what's bugging you." Gilbert said trying to figure out what was wrong with his brother.

"I…I had a bad dream." Ludwig said as he remembered the images of his dead brother.

"Is that all?" Gilbert asked, "What was it about?" Ludwig started crying again as the visions haunted his mind. Ludwig went to his knees crying because he was so scared to see those things again. Gilbert immediately shot up from his bed and scooped his brother in his arms, "Hey, hey, hey it's okay West, it was just a dream, I didn't mean to upset you."

"I dreamt that y-you d-died because of the w-war a-and I was a-at your f-funeral a-and you were h-hurt and….and..." Ludwig tried to explain through his heavy tears. It was difficult for Gilbert to make out the words through his brother's tears, but he got the gist of it. Gilbert understood now. He was supposed to go off to war tomorrow and that probably scared Ludwig. Gilbert didn't even think to ask Ludwig about the war. He had neglected his brotherly duties and that made him unawesome. Gilbert held onto his brother tightly. He pressed his trembling form into his chest. Ludwig clutched onto his brother like it was his lifeline.

"Shh, calm down West, it's okay now. You're big brother's here. You don't have to worry anymore." Gilbert said as he cradled the boy in his strong arms. "I'm sorry West, I never meant to scare you so badly. It's my fault that you're so scared right now."

"I don't want you to leave me." Ludwig said into his brother's chest.

"I'm sorry West, but I don't have a choice. I promise I'll come back like I always do." Gilbert said ruffling Ludwig's blonde hair.

"But what if you don't?" Ludwig asked sobbing even harder

"Nothing is going to happen to me West, I promise." Gilbert said trying to get the boy's tears to cease,

"Don't make a promise you can't keep." Ludwig said, "What if something does happen? Every time you come back you're hurt and sometimes you're barely alive." Ludwig held onto his brother even tighter if that was possible, "I don't want to be afraid anymore bruder. I'm tired of always being scared that you might not come back." Gilbert never knew that Ludwig had been so afraid every time he left. Why hadn't he noticed? "How can I make fear go away?" Gilbert sighed and gently turned Ludwig's head to look at him,

"Well that's the weird thing about fear, West, you can't make it go away. No matter what, fear will always be a part of your life and sometimes you can't make it go away." Gilbert tried to explain, "Sometimes the only way to make it stop is face it and that's not always easy."

"But you're never scared!" Ludwig said holding his brother's gaze with his teary blue eyes

"Kesesese, you think I don't get scared?" Gilbert asked. Ludwig nodded, "I get scared all the time, West. Even a warrior starts to shake."

"But you go to war willing to die, you don't look scared." Ludwig pointed out

"Well, I'm not scared to die, West. What I am afraid of is that when I die, you'll be alone. I'm also scared that if you are alone someone might hurt you and I won't be there to protect you. So I face my fear by risking my life to be with you. I don't want to leave you alone." Gilbert said almost sweetly. Gilbert gently took Ludwig away from him, "I want to make you a promise."

"Okay…" Ludwig said curiously.

"Give me your hand." Gilbert ordered. Ludwig did as he was told and Gilbert hooked pinkies with him, "I, the awesome Gilbert Beilschmidt, swear on my life to return to you as soon as the war is over and just to make it official..." Gilbert took his freed hand and removed his black cross necklace and placed it on Ludwig's neck, "I bestow on you my awesome necklace." Ludwig looked at the necklace in awe and held it close to his heart, "And this is a pinky swear, West, so it means more than just a regular promise." Ludwig felt his brother shift his body so that he was lying right next to him in his warm covers, "If you ever feel alone, just look at that necklace and know that I'll be with you no matter what, through life and death, I'll be there." Gilbert guaranteed. Gilbert held Ludwig close to his chest, "Ludwig...you don't have to ever be afraid while I'm here because I'll protect you from everything that makes you scared." Ludwig let his head rest against his older brother's chest,

"I love you bruder." Ludwig said as his eyes started to droop closed

"I love you too, West." Gilbert said as he started to fall asleep as well. Ludwig had never felt safer than he did in his brother's protective arms. The last thing Ludwig heard as he went to sleep was the comforting sound of his brother's passionate heartbeat.


End file.
